Mitzva of Nikhum Avelim

Mitzva of Nikhum Avelim Hamakom y:inakhem etkhem b'tokh sha'ar avaylay tzion v'yerushalayim. M.ay the omnipresent comfort you together with all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, (and ...). Basic Jewish assumptions about Du.th: 1) Death is a part of life. 2) There is holiness even in death. 3) One is never alone in facing death. 4) Even in death there is meaning. 5) The spirit lives on after death. Quote from the Zohar. When a persons' soul departs, all the relatives and companions in the other world join it and show it the high and low points of afterlife. For seven days the soul goes to and from its house to its grave, mourning for the body. Shiva: Seven days of mourning. No mourning on Sabbath or holydays. Abstain from work, pleasurable activities and groming one's self. The first three days are considered more intensive, no greetings are suggested to be offered or returned; on the last four days a mourner may return a greeting. Practices include daily prayers in community (minyan), saying Kaddish, siting on low stools, covering mirrors, burning a candle. Psychological function: Affirming community and family ties: comforting the mourners; remembering the deceased; Catharsis of emotion/ emotional healing. Soul guiding functions of Shiva: \ssisting the soul to accept the reality of death; minimizing the hibbut luikever "the pangs of the grave;" finishing business with physical plane life; sending the nefesh on its journey; communication between mourners and the departed being. Guidelines for visitors to shiva house: Consider your visit a mitzva not a burden; shiva is not a social occasion so avoid small talk and frivolous conversation; do not expect to be fed; remain silent and allow mourner to speak first; allow mourners opportunity to express whatever they wish to express; listen, and, if uncertain what to say, be silent; talk about how you remember the deceased; share as appropriate your own experiences of grief; take cues from the family. Why we avoid the mitzvah of comforting mourners: We live in a death denying society and we have been raised with the notion that discussion of death is taboo; We are fearful of losing control of our emotions in front of others; we are fearful of making a difficult situation worse by saying the wrong thing; we have unresolved feelings of grief from deaths of other important people in our lives; we are unfamiliar with mourning practices; and it reminds us of our own mortality. Conclusion of shiva is marked by the mourners taking a walk around the block. KADDISH Tradition says the word Kaddish comes from the word Kadosh- holy; dates back to the 7th century; from 13th century on it was used as prayer for mourners; is recited in community. •sychological function: Allows for catharsis of emotions; allows for some level of ongoingness to aid in completion of the unresolved parts of the relationship; provides an antidote to the isolation of bereavement; allows for the possibility of community support; allows mourners to stay in touch with the memory of the deceased; provides a way to remember the dead with respect and reverence; allows for a gradual acceptance of death and loss. Soul guiding function: Kaddish forges a link between the realm of the living and the mysterious realm; assists the soul in its purgations in gehenna;helps prepare the soul for its entry into gan eden. from Psalm 90 l7"jiT11~U"~'!rti 3~? Teach us how to value each day that we may have a heart of Show us how to find gladness in our lives that v,,e balance distorted perceptions of evil. May the beauty of the "f'i~,03/'3"0"1 divine Power be with us now. May the divine beauty unite U" ,,, 'i13,;:, ~ 3""T"Titnn:i~ into the work of our hands. And may our handiwork reflect our connection with the Divine . ri,n1f:l~ •• -: Vi-hi no-am Adonai elohaynu alaynu u-ma-a-say yadaynu kon'na alaynu. U'ma-a-say yadaynu kon'nayhu. Psa.Im91 Those who live in harmony with the higher realms, live sheltered by the power of the almighty. I say of that great force which formed me, ·it is my haven and my protection; I trust in that One because the eternal be-ing provides safety from the snares and perils of this life.· Faith in the goodness of the Source of all is a sure shelter. Fear neither the terrors of the dark night, nor the travails of the day, neither the monsters that lurk in shadows, nor the passions that flame in the light. Though you be surrounded by pain and doubt, you can still be free. See, and you will discover the balance of karma, you will find a secure refuge in the cosmic order. When you have entrusted yourself to the power of the greatest good, you will experience no evil. For then holy ieings will become your guides and guards; they will lead you 'With surety. You can walk into a ·uons den,· you can encounter •serpents and scorpions.• Becauseyou yearn to be dose to the source of love you will be protected Becauseyou know the holy One of be-ing, you will be safe. When you call out sincerely, the eternal Source, the inner voice, will answer: ·1 am with you in times of distress, I can save you from danger and enable you with respect.• "I will grace you with the fullness of a satisfying life, and you will enjoy wonderful glory.' from Psalm 139 My creator, you have searched me and know me. You know my every move; you understand my every thought. You measure all my activities. You are aware of all my habits. Before I even speak, You know what I plan to say. Where could I go where your spirit is not? Where could I escape from your presence? If I raise myself to the heavens, you are there. If I lower myself to the depths of existence, you are there. And if I think, •the Darkness will over.....-helmme, night will entrap me, I am reminded that, 'Even Darkness is not dark to you. Night shines as much as the day. Darkness and light are the same in your Oneness. I will thank. you. for my creation is a marvelous wonder! The wise soul knows that all your creation is wonderful. Your plan existed before I was ever created Its manifestation is a mystery beyond my comprehension. Examine me, Source of my creation. Test me, search ""'Ythought patterns. See where I separate from you through Jsehood and fear, and help lead me to your path lighted 'With eternal being. ff ,r.iw :Vlr.lN n~7itry iw: :Y"tl]J •tY TilT TT