Talking with the Ribbono Shel Olam

Talking with the Rebonno Shel Olom (Conversing with the Master of the World) Rebonno Shel Olom! The Rebbe, Reb Zusya said, I love you so much! I want to do something for you to show you how much I love you. But what can I do? How can I reach across time and space to connect with you? Where are you? and where am I? How can I show you my love? I know what I can do! I can whistle!" If I were Zusya today, I would add the following: •And are you aware of me? Can you hear me whistling at you? Do you really respond to me as I cry out to you to stop the hurting and the killing? Is there anyone out there who listens to me?? I know that you can hear me because you always respond to me. I know many people don't feel this way but you always respond to me, one way or another, and usually, in the best possible, deepest cleverest way. Rebonno shel olom. I don't know if you are the woman or the vase in the picture. I don't know if you are personal or impersonal. In my mind, I sometimes think of you as merely a deepened perception of the world, a more profound rung of human consciousness, a collective higher order of the collectivity. Yet, even in this I think that you hear and can respond and be impressed by a strong vibration coming from anywhere as you dynamically ..ltar the balance. I know that if enough people vibrate and cause a vacuum, or if one does it very strongly and pivotally, you will match intensity with love and be there. Almost as if you are just waiting for us to gather up our highest efforts and strengths. But, Rebonno shel olom, I'm often in my weakness, rarely at my strength. I have never been good at the leap of faith that some of your devoted followers seem to be able to make. I cannot leap over my own consciousness. When I pray to you as a deity who is active in ordinary affairs, you never answer me. Only when I open to the supernatural, the eerie, the non-rational, the non-repeatable, you suddenly appear in my window, as a bird, a creak in the bookcase, a letter that arrives at the right moment. And then you're gone. You have again showed me that you are there. Am I projecting you or are you projecting me. In all the services that I lead, I seem to talk to you, but do I demean the concept by being so predictable? Can you forgive me for talking to you as a teaching model? Can you distinguish between when I really am talking to you, or when I am teaching others to talk to you? Can I? Then I become jealous of my students who really Me talking to you whereas I have primed them but I'm not really there to talk to you. Am I talking to you now, or am I just writing this? Once again, are you the vase in the picture or are you the face? The Buddhists say that all is God and there is no theistic pole of the universe. Then, Rebonno shel olom, My speech to you is so much existential Buberian posturing. Your mastery of the universe is as the master key of a set of locks, the master as functional, not as dominant, not as worthy and personal, anthropomorphic. Maybe that is good. I don't perceive you as Abraham did, bargaining with you to avert natural disasters for the sake of the righteous ones of Sodom. I know that natural disasters can destroy Tzaddikim. I know that evil armies can destroy good people, as they did in the holocaust, and as they still do now. I know that these evil armies perceive themselves as doing good even as they hurt. I can't understand all this, because I know how good and available you have been to me in my personal life. I know that your name as master therefore is undeserved as an active deity, yet very deserved with me as active divine caretaker, lover, guide, master of ceremonies. Your name as master of science, of key to change within the functional creation takes me to my very limit of understanding. I know that before times, the Jewish ceremonial law was considered and end in itself, then these questions of faith had no touch on belief, but nowadays, Jewish ceremony has to be able to instil belief, over and over again. We are fighting the culture around us which doesn't speak of transformation, of personal metamorphosis, of inner pivoting from stuckness to stillness .. I know you don't require worship, that you don't need it, yet can be changed through my worship. Yet my worship doesn't begin to meet its potential, the level of the Hassidim, any discernible improvement over time. And I have so little time left. I'm managing my spiritual life as if I was going to live for four hundred years, which I'm not. So Rebonno Shel Olom,. I can't even whistle like Reb Zusya. And I can't complain, because, notwithstanding other people's different experiences, notwithstanding the holocaust and the news, I know that you are ready to be with me. Can you help me to be with myself even more so that I can be with you? Or is that still up to me?