Pact for a Healing Relationship

Pact for a Healing Relationship 1) No matter what you may do that I don't like, I realize you are not the ultimate cause of my pain, just as I am not the ultimate cause of your pain. 2) I know that the ultimate cause of our pain is our ingrained childhood suffering, and that intimate love relationships always arouse that pain. 2) No matter how carried away I may get by my negative emotions towards you, I know that we are deeply committed to stick it out even when things get tough, and to go into all these feelings together in a way that will heal us both. 4) I realize that no real healing can happen when one of us "wins" over the other: if you lose, I lose; and if you win, I win. In the light of our personal histories we are both always "right." blame each other, and that we are doing this to heal ourselves together. 6) I want us to struggle not to "play games," "act out" our feelings on each other, or manipulate each other, but rather to get in touch with and express our feelings as directly and honestly as possible. 7) I realize that, along with expressing our emotions, we must struggle to help each other become aware of our projections and character structures in a loving, constructive way. We must learn to see that our beauty shows even in the very heart of our neurosis. I want to develop relationship with you where we can trust enough to trip out on our projections and scream and fight, knowing all the while deep in our hearts that we don't really